Hello! I just wanted to say hi.
The rest of this post is really an extended sulk session so you can skip it if you'd rather stay cheery. I'll be back to my normal upbeat self in a few weeks I imagine.
My long silence was completely unintentional I assure you. It was a few days after my previous post when my partner left to start his new job in the U.S. and I stayed behind in Germany with our son, and prepped for our international move. August was a very, very emotional and distressing month to say the least. And we're still not at our next location! Everything was a bit too crazy to write, but I wanted to keep my blog current so here goes...
I'll begin with the sad. You know that feeling you get when you leave a party, and you know you might not see someone you like very much for a really long time... that super-sad, aching, regret-longing kind of feeling? Well, after seven years in Munich, I've really come to love my friends and had this huge mounting sense of anxiety and loss. And I felt like that *every* time I saw my friends. And I tried to pack in as many visits with them as I could before I left. My partner called it the "slow band-aid" approach to saying good-bye. I kind of agree.
September is now three-quarters done. I have been in Miami at my mom's house for two weeks, and my sense of loss is still so fresh. I keep trying to cheer myself up with hopes hanging on our next destination which is California, but I don't really know what to expect. Instead, I find myself overwhelmed in the grocery aisle of the local big box grocery store with all the overly-sweetened everything. I get frustrated I can't find anything comparable to the simple (often organic) food I used to buy for my son that had been so easily accessible and affordable in Germany. Here, they're specialty items and very expensive. Why should healthy food be a privilege reserved for the rich?
It's also really disheartening to come back to the U.S. during such a terribly polarized political climate. It cannot be ignored - there's such a palpable dislike of women and minorities in today's political rhetoric. My goodness, even the most conservative of Germans agree on the fundamental need for universal healthcare. People should not be scared of going broke if they get sick. Where's the love for our fellow human beings?
All those grey clouds aside, we're here. That's the reality. And it looks like we're here to stay for a while.
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The work... and the happy.
I've gone back to the basics and started painting with watercolor and gouache. And, I've started knitting again. I was able to complete a bit of work in August before my laptop had the green-screen error and had to be shipped off for repairs, before selling my sewing machine, overlocker, and all tools that plugged into a European electrical socket. So hopefully, when I get the laptop back from the shop, I'll have lots of lovely work to show you!
If you want to see my sketches, sewing, or knitting progress, it's definitely best to follow me on instagram. If you're not on there yet, it's a really lovely little platform-- an ever-replenishing feast for the eyes. I can post directly from my mobile device so I'm able to post nearly every day. My illustrations are definitely more positive than this post. I promise!
Oh yes, and somewhere in the mix, I started an art collective. I've got lots to say about it, and can't wait to share! See? I had some good news! I hope you all are doing okay and that your life is not filled with those grey clouds. I can't wait to see some emotional sunshine again.